Vulnerable

Regina laid across from Nathan on her queen bed, facing him. He slept with his eyes closed, ignoring the music in the background. The Internet tapped low on her laptop, a few feet away.

I can’t help but feel like I’m wasting, precious time in my life.

She rested her head on the pillow and brought her hand against the side of his small ear lobe. She caressed the front and back with the tip of her nails, tracing the soft edges of his skin. His body was warm, all the men in her life seemed to be good for, and his breathing was slow. She wondered how she could sleep with him tonight, knowing full well that she fidgeted in the night and sometimes gasped over a silly dream or a thought from her past. She wondered if she should tell him this, give him a warning, or a last chance for him to back away now before it was too late.

“You make me happy,” he said with his eyes closed.

When she tried to let the words slip from her mouth, nothing came. She let out a small, “Ah.”

His breath smelled faintly of whiskey but she didn’t mind. Hers must’ve smelled like rum. It was the statement that gave her pause. Happy? He might as well have said Love or Liked or Marry and she would’ve still be just as taken aback. She had only known him, REALLY known him, for two weeks. What did he know about happiness?

It was the whiskey, she determined. She smiled, hoping he could see it, but in the morning she would let the statement go and hope he’d never say it again.

But look I need you to know (it can only get better from here)

It’s under control, I got it. (I got it babe)

And as it unfolds, I got you, I promise

 “Do you feel vulnerable when you’re in bed with me?” She asked.

He opened his eyes and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek.

“Yes,” he said.

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